Friday, February 19, 2010

friday's zen: relationships in the home

You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
-Desmond Tutu
No matter how beautiful your home is, life can be really miserable if there is not peace and harmony among those living there.  We had one of those weeks where the queen's crown kept getting knocked off.   By Friday morning I was ready to resign as "family catch-all" girl.  As my guru would say, "what did you learn from this experience?"  After taking a deep breath and going to yoga class, I had some clarity on this issue.
  • Just because you can do it all, doesn't mean that you actually do it all.  I have a tendency to say, "yes" to everyone so that there are no tears...but when I start to see my own, I think it is time to re-evaluate my affirmatives and begin to politely say no.  While I would love to, I cannot at this time.
  • It is okay to let others take responsibility for what is theirs.  Forgotten homework assignments, uniforms that didn't get washed because they were under the bed, and stomaches because someone ate too many sweets can jump to priority number one if we let it.  Sometimes it is powerful to let the lesson be learned without intervention.  That is too bad.  Maybe next time you can choose differently.
  • Working is a lovely thing, and I truly LOVE my job...but I don't think it is healthy to do it 24/7...we all need a break to let in the light of inspiration and to have playtime. Why did we ever give up playtime?   It was the best part of the day when we were kids.  And it varies from person to person...what is your play?  It is okay for me to stop and take a break.  Everything needs nourishing...even my spirit.
  • When your day is too packed, you miss letting the winds of heaven in your day.  You start to act as if the world depended on you...when in reality...we love you and all, but we will get along if you set things down for a bit.  Even Atlas shrugged.
  • Time outs can be necessary for everyone.  Sometimes we get so off target that we really need to go to our rooms so we can catch our breath and be quiet.  Being is just as important as doing.  Just be.
Many more gifts have come from this experience, and they will continue to unfold through the day.  Relationships with one another can be our greatest teachers.  It is possible to have a home that is loving, supportive and flowing with abundance...we just need to be open to those lessons when they appear...even when they bring you to tears.   Most of the time, we cannot change those we live with...we only have ourselves and our do you want to see your world?

Have a peace-filled weekend!